I think that just about every American is aware of its existence on, at least, some level. But I have to wonder how many have actually read it. Well, here it is in easy to read type.

ROCHESTER, NY 19AUG06:

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

"Don't worry about avoiding temptation... as you grow older, it will avoid you."
-Winston Churchill

"People keep asking me, 'What evil lurks in you to play such bad characters? There is no evil in me, I just wear tight underwear."
-Dennis Hopper

Once upon a time the colors of the world started to quarrel. All claimed that they were the best. The most important. The most useful. The favorite.

Green said: "Clearly I am the most important. I am the sign of life and of hope. I was chosen for grass, trees and leaves.

Blue interrupted: "You only think about the earth, but consider the sky and the sea. It is the water that is the basis of life and drawn up by the clouds from the deep sea.

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry.

He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How much do I owe you?" "You don't owe me anything," she replied. "Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness." He said..... "Then I thank you from my heart."

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
Billy Crystal

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."

"Sex at 70 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
Camille Paglia

"Sex is on of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
George Burns

"All conversations with a potatoe should be held in private."